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24th November 2020

The Bruise on the Bums!

As a traditionally built woman: one who is most definitely ”built for war” and whose generous ”curves” could withstand many a famine, I find it very hard to understand why I bruise so easily!

Am not talking emotional bruises: am a softie and hurting is part of loving and caring so much! No, am talking about physical bruises: the type which cause people to look twice and wonder what you’ve been doing!

That said, I’ve inherited my Mum’s ability to trip over nothing and fall onto things that aren’t there! My knees are probably medical miracles being as they are the strangest shape EVER – but they still work. In a fashion. Ankles are bruised too but that is down to Barney T Rubble and his active paws.

The BIG problem I’ve got currently , is that there are 3 of the most massive bruises EVER on the back of bottom number 2 – and  I’ve no idea at all how they occured! I haven’t fallen; banged into anything or done anything more than light, daydream yoga – but these  monsters reared their heads on Sunday and are in full technocolour , today!

Tony wants to lay claim to having caused them, describing them as ”magnificent!”  : a word he has NEVER used for my rear end!

I want to be able to study them properly to try to work out the cause eg are they from the door handle at work or from the tree when I’ve been trying to avoid the cats? I’ve honestly no idea whatsoever! And I cannot spin around long enough to see them properly! (Mind you, many people would say I look at my bum , daily when in a mood!).

Still, they aren’t as delicately painful as they were – though their deep colour would suggest otherwise! Thankfully, the packaging around them has protected me from whatever the impact could have been – and NO, i hadn’t been consuming wine!

Ah well! A multi coloured bottom , once completely covered, isn’t something that will scare the locals, so I won’t sit here worrying about it!

Actually, I won’t sit here at all! Ive got a birthday party to get to! (in the photo, even Harry is looking shocked!)

Be safe . Be happy. Be unbruised!