People? Who needs ’em!

Hello, its Alfie dog here. I thought I’d better write and warn you all that we think our people have completely lost their small human minds. Take this morning for example, Jake and I tried to go into their bedroom to lick them and wag our tails in a merry good morning- and they’d locked us out! Charlie cat was in (little so and so gets in through the window and thinks he’s great but he cannot fetch a stick! What sort of animal is he?). Molly was in, (well, I don’t mind that so much coz if she wasn’t in there, she’d be snuggled up to meheader=People? Who needs ’em!, Hello, its Alfie dog here. I thought I’d better write and warn you all thd out. He still sang his happy song when the people eventually got up and came out to see us. I tried to ignore them but I just LOVE the way my mother person tickles my tummy, so I forgave her when she did that.

All day though, they’ve been running in and out of the house, shouting times and names of other people at each other, patting us on the heads , changing the things they wear (why bother? be hairy like us) and generally rushing about. They are mad! When they’ve sat still, the mother person has been standing on one leg and humming to herself – and even got cross when Jake knocked her into the pool. Father person, keeps putting the TV on and watching other people running after a ball. I like this but he then turns it off and rushes out again!

Anyway, we are home alone now and its great. We’ve got the aircon on, I’m in my favourite spot and Jake is snoring. Molly is on the back of the settee (she thinks she is a cat) and Charlie is on the wall outside, shouting at the lizards……wooferly!

Oh, here they come again. Mother is singing! Singing? Jake does better than that. I’m going to pretend I’m asleep and look cute so I’ll get my tummy tickled and its nearly tea time: so I suppose we do need them, until we get to work a tin opener that is ! (I’m getting tuna as a treat to help my coat coz its a bit dry from the sunshine).

Only thing I’m a bit concerned about is that my mother has another pet: she keeps saying “downward facing dog” and looking between her legs from an upside down position. We’ve all been up and sniffed the proceedings, which makes her cross but we cannot find another dog either? She’s also talking about “swans” as well and praying a lot – something to do with “yoghurt” apparently……………its all very worrying!