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6th June 2021

Let’s talk ”bottoms”!

It’s silly o’clock on this beautiful Sunday morning and I’m looking out into the garden, at the stone table and wobbly chair, whose leg has broken off and the chair looks like it’s drunk!

In truth, it probably is! It’s been the seat of many a night over the years we’ve lived here – and has hosted many a rotund and skinny person on it’s grain – so the odd bottle of beer or wine is bound to be etched into it’s wooden frame!

Not sure whose bottom was the final demise of this leg but it I think the most recent inhabitant of this particular chair was the lovely, slim and elegant , ”The Great Raymondodoulou” – not that I’m naming names or pointing the finger at my dear friend: he was simply the ”final cheek” in a gathering of so many through the breakfasts, lunches and dinners the chair has graced.

Tony and I are traditionally built. So our chairs are ”reinforced” , offering wider and stronger comfort that the others around the table. These chairs seem to ”know their place” and seem happiest only if they are welcoming their known and shapely owners, rather than those who would slip their tiny frames into the generous area meant for us!

Anyway, the wobbly chair has been partner to it’s last bottom, that’s for sure and, as it’s replacement is being made in a local workshop, it is leaning against the table, for all the world telling the stories of the , ”I’ve seen it all” drinker whose time at the bar is almost over!

That said, the replacement is going to be a while. Covid has caused the man who cuts the wood to be laid up for longer than any quarantine, only for his son, who took over in his father’s absence, to hurt himself trying to cut wood – and the now the man who delivers the wood to the man who makes the chairs, is unable to replace the delivery truck due to business being low – so the trusty man who makes the chairs is waiting….

As are we.

Though patiently – as it’s not as is we’ve got the family bottoms arriving anytime soon – and those belonging to our friends who  live locally, are getting more slight by the day thanks to their mix of exercise and good diet! So the less sturdy chairs we have will suit the more nimble bottoms they have!

I love the wooden chairs. There is something very comforting about their traditional and basic style. Not flash but simple and elegant.

I don’t love bottoms. I get they are necessary and some, like my husband’s , are even attractive and ”’nippable” on a good day. Maybe I simply don’t like my bottom – though I owe it a favour for keeping my body off the ground and for cushioning many a fall over the years!

That said, I’m getting to know it a lot better now it’s falling down the back of my legs, towards my knees – so I’m trying to be kinder to it as I understand it’s importance and do need it to quite literally now, ”hang around” with me for the times to come…..

Whatever shape your ”seat”, look after it but ascend any wooden chair with great care: it may be ready to join the great Seat in Heaven , like the one I can see – and you certainly don’t want to assist it’s demiss, bruising your own whilst ending the chair’s!

Have a lovely day – and stand tall. This will all be over soon but your bottom will still need you!


(No, I’m not posting a piccie of a bottom: just the wooden chairs!)