Jake bites yer bum!

We’ve got our friend Alex in, painting our lounge upstairs for us. Why aren’t we doing it ourselves? Well:

– we cannot be bothered

– we’re too busy

– we’re useless at painting

– we just want it done without the hassle

and many more, less creative (!) excuses!

Alex is very happy to be doing the job- other than the fact he and Jake have a “thing”: well, Jake has the “thing ” to be exact – and Jakes, “thing” is for Alex: he just adores biting Alex’ bum!

When Alex arrived today, he was minus the normal extra padding he slips down the front and back of his shorts, to protect him from affectionate little nips. Jake didn’t even flinch when Alex walked in: no movement, recognition, signs of desire……nothing. I think Alex was quite disappointed!

Morning ran to afternoon and Jake kept a respectful distance from Alex and all was well in the Bell household – we thought……

Just as Alex relaxed and began to accidentally display a little bit of “builders bum”, Jake recognised the potential and climbed the stairs to have a closer look at the goods on display.

Now Jake is over 9 stones and quite large – so you can imagine the size of his nose. And its a very cold nose. So Alex got a bit of a shock and our staircase wall got an extra splash of “linen white” somewhere extra splashes aren’t really appealing.

The painting job is going to take 4 days : which I’ve just worked out using Pies and Peas theory (or whoever the man was), that Jake has potential for 4.2 thousand (squared), bum nips and nibble when Alex isn’t looking – and Alex has potential for an industrial injury claim……

Note to self: must ring our insurance man tomorrow to ensure we are covered – even if Alex isn’t always!