Good upholstery?

I’m now seriously depressed! Not only has the sun come out and the heat started to descend upon us but the local “skinny” girls have begun to walk around in their string-things AND a few have even dared to come into our office.

Take today, a very beautiful, skinny, tall young girl walked into the office looking for an apartment to rent in Peyia. I was busy with customers so Tony “kindly” stepped in to help her. Not only was she gorgeous, she was also intelligent, interesting and very, very nice.

The cheek of her!

Now I was feeling very old, jaded and completely “out of sorts” BEFORE she walked in but after she left, every “thin” gremlin in my addled brain began to party:

“You’ll never fit in a bikini”

“Hide those bingo wings”

” Need a facelift”

and so on and on, began to chant in my brain and continued all afternoon.

So I rang Floozy Suzie , my friend, to ask her to cheer me up. As usual, she was wonderful until she offered the following piece of info: apparently, women like Sue and I (ie over 40 and over a size 10 plus VAT) are known as “traditionally built”. “Like a building”, ventured soon to be ex friend Sue if she continues in this manner………….”Good architecture” etc

Did I feel better? Did I diddle!! I’ve tried to admire the generous proportions curving (in the wrong direction) from various angles but I don’t see it from an architectural point of view unless one was looking in terms of “in need of demolition”.

The family bottom is perfectly well upholstered but is it necessary to have quite so much, I wonder? And the face tells many stories but who hangs around long enough to listen to ’em when a 9ft 12inch , thin and young goddess is in the area.

Its no good. I’ll just have to eat chocolate, drink wine and put the lights out. All checkins and outs will now officially be at night!