Morning. My name is Brucie.
Well, it isn’t really Brucie and I’ve tried to purrfect the name the human I’m dictating this to, uses for me – but Brucie will do.
I used to live in a warm house, not far from this human’s house and it was quite nice. I slept in a bed and got fed in the house and kept warm and dry.
Then one day, the people were gone. And I was left.
Chatting to some of the other cats on the hill near the old house, I realised that I wasn”t the only cat to have lost it’s humans – and I also realised I needed to be tough; to find my own food and to find shelter if I was going to live.
I’m a big cat! I’m proud to be a big cat! I can stretch my legs far and make some pretty impressive jumps ! Am also intelligent, so I found my way to this human”s house but the huge big furry thing who used to live here: you know, those stupid things, the humans call ”dogs” – well, he wouldn’t let me in.
I tried – and we even had a fight one day but I had to admit that inside the house was his space and outside, on the edges, could be mine to share with some of the Hilltop Gang , (especially Harry: he’s my best friend – though Squidgy cat is trying to muscle in).
Anyway, the big silly furry dog died. I was there when it happened – and I was sad. He was okay for a dog even though he chased me. I waited a little time – about 5 minutes – to be respectful before sneaking into the house – but I was chased out by the humans!
Still, they feed me twice daily. I get chicken breasts and salmon steaks cooked for me, to share with the rest of the gang. The humans even put a flap into their office door so I can keep dry – but I like a home.
So, am on a mission to move in!
I’ve been on hunger strike for 5 days. I’ll only eat if I’m fed IN the house – and only when no other cats are there!
I made the human woman cry because I got hurt , (deliberately LOL), so she took me to see a man who put needles and stuff in me and now I’m good.
But the human still hasn’t let me move in completely, so I’m crying a lot ; not eating except indoors (as explained) – and am doing those , ”eyes”: you know, the ones humans cannot resist and make we cats look sad and cute at the same time? (I’ve noticed the male human in the house tries this but the female ignores him, hee hee).
Anyway. I need family. And I’ve chosen this one. And I’d quite like to have Harry move in fulltime too , (though I want first dabs on sitting on the humans knees!).
I’ll let you know how my mission is going
But if you are going to email to the human (email@example.com), about a villa holiday, please put in a good word for me? Purrfect. Thank you.
Need to sleeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz