The Cyprus sun is well and truly in the heavens. Every morning, we wake up to 35 plus degrees even before the day warms up. Working in the village of Peyia and around Coral Bay, its lovely to see people enjoying the sunshine, playing in their pools and wearing beautiful bright summer clothes…….

The sun also brings out trunks. Small ones or too large ones: never ones which fit! Worse, the men wearing them are either north of 50 but still believe they are 19! Are walking through residential areas, scaring the old folk and animals OR even worse, shopping in the village supermarket and wanting to stop and talk!

PLEASE! Stop and think about this! Just because you are male, own a pair of black trunks and the sun is shining, DON’T feel that you have to wear them in public. Or if you do, ask someone who loves you, just how they DO look. If they refuse to go out with you , you’ve got your answer AND if you are near the public, don’t just don’t wear them!

I’ve seen tummies fighting worn elastic trying to cling to dignity; hairy bellies “frilled” over lowering speedos and bottoms hanging out of bottomless ageing articles…………..I’m traumatised!!

Yesterday, I even witnessed 4 men, working together on tree cutting on one of the main roads in Peyia, each wearing old black, square trunks………ohmigod. AWFUL!!

Less is more. And wearing less doesn’t make you more of man – it ,er, reveals that you aren’t actually even though your “balcony” has grown to its potential.

I’d not be seen outside of the garden wearing my yellow polka dot bikini – purely for the safety and health of our neighbours. Please , if there is a god of all things, can you do something about men in trunks?